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My Daughter Jennifer
Dec 21, 2002
My name is Lisa Ortiz aka Vonnie as my friends know me I have been fortunate enuff to know many ppl that have gone thru the loss that myself an family has just had to endure . It is still very fresh in our lives but because of support from sites like yours an others an ppl I have met by accident in chatrooms well maybe not by accident since I dont belive in those. I have come here. I have recent loss my oldest Daughter Jennifer Lynn Collins 18 , in a car accident she was alone on a way to a friends house an then to pick her youger sister up from rollerskating , My self n husand were out to dinner an a movie when it occured it was one of the weirdest days of my life at approimitly 930 pm on July 19 th 2002 while sitting at the drive im I became Ill feeling as though I had food poisoning but yet I did not eat when we went to eat I wasnt feeling well that whole day was just somthing in the air , I went to the bank could not even fill out a simple deposit slip after 3 trys I asked the teller if she could do it , I chalked it up to the stress that my oldest was an hr late getting back with my car that afternoon and I need to have her brothers somewhere at a certain time . She had all kinds of excuses but in the end it was all good I was like ok ok I belive ya well she had left her keys in my car as she would rather drive my car then hers cuz it was a hot ride as her friends called it when I let her borrow it :) well I did return home she got her keys an we left getting back to the drive in from 930 to 945 I was sick to the point of almost passing out an couldnt figure it out by the time I tryed it was gone . we came home it was very foggy as we had rain earlier that evening, we returned home to an empty house I went up thinking her younger sister was asleep she was to pick her up at 10 to 10:30 that evening no one so I was like ok this is a bit strange but I thought well maybe they went to local truckstop to eat after as my Jennifer was employed there a few miles from home.. The phone rings it is my youngest daughter she was very livid an hot that her sister had not yet picked her up she said Im sick I tryed calling her since 730 to just comne get me I wanted to go home after I left to go skating I felt ill she was already gone Jen that is so she had to wait . I told Jessica this is the youngest that her sister would never delibertly not show up to get her somthing had to have happend she was a very responcible young woman and always was even at a young age. so I asked my husband as the fog was really bad to pick them up he went by now it is 12:30 am Jennifer has work in the morning I turn to my friend n her husband that were spending the night and where out with us. I said she is either in the hospitol or the mourge, she was shocked I said she would never do this to her sister somthing is very wrong , I picked up the phone to call the state police who were less then 3 miles from my house I dialed an then hung the phone up I couldnt face what i already knew in my heart that my child was dead. everyone gets back home normally my friend an i would go an chat in a room as her n her husband spent the weekends at our house often but that night by this time it is 1 am I said im going to go to bed instead i settle everyone in an go to bed myself. At 2 am my youngest daughter comes to my bedroom door an opens it an says mommy the state troopers are here. I jumped out of bed knowing full well what they were going to tell me an hoping maybe I would be wrong but as I jumped over my husband I screamed OMG Jen's dead omg I knew it I went out an these men looked to be 7 ft tall to me I only rememeber seeing there chests and saying to them accualy begging them please dont tell me my daughter is dead , They were very kind he took my hand an said I am so sorry to have to tell you this it is not an easy job or somthing I want to ever do but there was an accident tonight on such n such rode your daughter was killed as a result of her injurys I lost it they had been looking for us for hrs to tell us asking our neighbors an such but no one had been home . I asked what time this happened he told me the time of death was 941 pm that she was consider DOA That night was spent doing the thing we all dred to hear the phone call at an ungodly hr the one we know when we answer is going to be news of a death or injury , My first call was to my daughters best friend Adam , a boy that loved her whole heart an soul Of course they were suposed to get married his mom an myself always thought they would But they were only ever friends . Adam always the one I called when it was a rescue I needed for Jen he was right there after the initial shock had set in thank god he did not live far I dont know how any of us drove that night. Next person was Debbie , Jens twin as I called her she was accualy my friend first when i moved here a bit young but she would just come up an visit me with her brother then when jennifer finnished her year out at her old school she moved back home to our new house an met debbie amoung countless others, Debbie could not belive it an really thought I was playing some sick joke that she said she was gonna kick our asses for if we were joking Debbie was the one Jennifer had spent the day with right before she left to go " Home " Next call was to corener , I wanted to see my baby the officers had said no i couldnt I said excuse me But you must not know me very well I will see my daughter no one will stop me and that is just how it is going to be........ I am a I dont take no for an answer type of person it is fruitless to argue with me one never wins :) So I was allowed the corener was accualy very nice about it I asked Adam to if he could please come as jen ment the world to him an I wanted him to have this time with her where there wouldnt be other hovering around , My Husband well needless to say he was not in very good shape he was better for the first few days until it came time for the funeral. So we went to see Jen I let them both go in first then my husband an myself went in then I was alone there with my baby looking at her an not beliveing she could be dead she had hardley any marks on her at all and they had not done anything to her I cleaned a bit of a grass stain off her bridge of her nose an picks some leaves out of her hair she was still very much the child I said goodbye to that evening , not to forget to pick up her sister , an I love you too but now she was gone and as I looked at her there was just utter disbelief how could this be my child laying here still in a body bag looking so beautiful yet she had been in a horrific car acciedent an been throw from the car . It is now 5 months months later we r still not totaly sure what happened on that rode that night the man that lived across the street said his daughter heard tires screeching so he went out didnt see anything right away but then heard a moun an went to see he found her laying in the brush in a not very big ditch the car in the upright position . I do know she didnt have her seatbelt on somthing she very rarly didnt do but that night she wasnt going far as i have been told by her from the otherside an she thought she would be alright. I have two theroys of the accident as do the police One I feel my daughter was climbing out of the car thinking it was over sitting on the window the way a race car driver would to climb out the car came down on her chest where the window n door top meet was at perfect level with her injury even though there were no bruises or marks still unbelivable. and the car didnt full go down on her because there was a slight embankment which I belive that when the car did go down as she was in the window the force of the embankment pushed it back up on all fours as it went back up she slide out of the window her arms still in the air as if she would of had them placed on the roof to climb out then there is also the theroy of how it happend the police belive there may of been another car in her lane an she swerved then over compansanted to get back in her lane as she was prolly drivng to fast because she didnt have much time to go to the friends house an get back to pick her sister up plus she always drive fast a trait she got from me prolly , but thats about it the days to come were I cant even describe I went to funeral home made arangements had 2 phones at most times for 4 days to follow in my ear telling her friends there families an wow My best friend calls an says there is a rumor going around that jennifer was killed in an accident last night I had to tell her it was not a rumor but the truth she was so devestated everyone was I can not tell you how I stayed togeather so well except that I knew there were many that need me more then I needed comfort . This was a child that touched many many lives in the 18 she was here with us unbeliveable she had over 400 ppl at her funeral They mourge guy didnt want to let me n my youngest daughter jessica do her hair an makeup he said I have never had such a request I said well ya have now he wasnt happy about this being done as he didnt want to be picking us off the floor an sueing him he was very worried but in the end was very cool The night before we went as a family to some stores we knew she liked to get her somthing to wear we made my husband try on the clothes as he was similar to her size an often grabed her jeans by mistake out of the laundry hehehe till he put them on .. we tryed to remain as upbeat as we could under the circumstances Jessica an I went an she did her hair which was lovely I might add an I did her makeup a bit heavy for her taste but i told her as I plucked her eyebrows I said im not letting you go in with your eyebrows looking all splotchy cuz she plucked them very thin but she looked like an angel as the mourge guy commented an wow he was very brave to sit an listen as he let us play jens fav group while we did all this it is Eminem, who she had concert tickets to see the day after she died her sister wewnt in her place her friends alot of them didnt want to go I said U will go an honor her with your presance they took pics of her banners an one of the bands D -12 dedicated one of there songs to jennifer it was fantastic an I am sure she was there as she was there that night as my husband who races stock cars made his first win of the season I felt her our friends smelled her perfume it was so totally awesome she could be in all these places an sharing with us I felt her hand in mine as I saw him take that checkered flag He had a banner made for his car that he drove around with it was beautiful. My Husband n Jennifer had alot of disagreements he wasnt always happy with things I allowed her to do . I was a very no conformist parent as long as I knew where she was an she was safe it was ok , I never worried about her I knew i didnt have to until she turned 18 I will get into that a bit later in this story. My Kid partyed I let her drink once at 15 at home what a sloppy drunk after the fall down her steps she swore she was never doing this again she didnt for quite a few yrs but when she did she watched her limits an always called because she thought it was cute she always loved me the most when she drank yikes the phone calls at 12 n 1 am Hi Mommmmmmmy ! whos this I would say like I cant belive I didnt kno shes like its me Jen IM like ur drunk shes like yep im like ok your staying where you are right an she said yes thats why i called you so u kno im safe im like thank you I appriciate that she knew she could trust me there wasnt alot she kept from me I was not a parent that felt the need to ever invaid her privacy except for the one time I thought at 14 she was having sex with an 19 yr old it was puppy love but nothing more phew that was a load off my mind but sex did come along at an early age after the shock of well u said there r other things besides sex that we can do i was just Like TMI = To much information , she went on birthcontrol , was very responcible even took her pill the night she died :( I would never get a grandchild from her that is still a hard thing to deal with also but she graduated highschool did the things as a young mom I didnt get to do including some of them with me I was the cool mom as everyone of her friends said but it is ok cuz she did more living in the 18 yrs she was here because of it then most so I regret nothing an wouldnt change a thing except that night. I had some really good times with my daughter that most arent lucky enuff to share with theres an for that I am very happy but alot of times she also felt I should be not as understanding of stuff an maybe a bit harder but that just wasnt me I been there an wanted better for my kids then I had an she had that, met all my expectations an more . she always told me she would never have children she knew it somtimes I think she knew she wouldnt be here long on this earth I wanted her to go to college she said mom I want a yr or 2 off to have fun ive been in school for 13 yrs she only got 2 months but she enjoyed them alot of my recovery from the grief which is an everyday thing has really been helped by the fact that I know many mediums & psychic's and I have had contact from my daughter from the otherside in fact the messages were waiting for me within 2 days of her death until I came back online to let alot of my friends from chat know how we were all doing if you dont belive in life after death all I can say is please always talk to your loved ones they hear an see everything , and when you need them even if u dont get the confirmation that they are presant they r only a shout away ... It is almost Christmas my first with out Jen she was our Santa Claus every year she will be dearly missed in the physical sense but I know she will be there as well all come togeather as a family an like the B -days an few other holidays that have passed already she will give us some sign .. if anyone ever wants to check out a good chat site for finding mediums that work free of charge but have to have spirit come to them kinda like John Edwards try Paltalk under meet new friends catagory most of the ppl there have been a godsend for me before an after our loss try to stay positive an rememeber that we will all see each other again eventualy I kno it doesnt help ease the pain we suffer from our loss of a loved one but in time it does become bearable I hope everyone Has a Good Holiday an New year
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