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My Child Died
Oct 08, 2002
My story seems too long and too complicated and too sad to tell - and yet it is as simple as everyone else's - my child died.
Her name was Vivian, she was 15, she was so beautiful and full of light and joy, and I loved her so much. I still love her so much - the love goes on but she is not here. I miss her so much, its like my life has ended, but I have to go on living. I have 3 other children, aged 20, 15 and 11. She would be 18 now. My 15 year old nearly died when he was 10 - he now has an acquired brain injury. My husband ran away from all the pain, my family and almost all my friends likewise have run away - I am so lonely. Just a few, wonderful friends who stick by me, and God, who is good and faithful and always there.
Life just seems so hard now. I'm waiting for the inquest, I've been doing my best to change some of the factors that caused her death, I'm trying to survive, I'm loving my other children and trying to help them through this - but sometimes it seems so, so hard and I want to give up. Finding this website has been a Godsend - to realise that every mother who has lost a child feels like me. I just want her back, cant bear life without her, have unbearable memories and images of the day she died, of finding her, trying to revive her, calling the ambulance - I wish I could focus on the good memories, but the bad ones are so intrusive, and even the good ones just seem to remind me that she is no longer here. My heart goes out to all other mothers who have lost a child - I will read your postings and pray for you all.
Sue C
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