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Christmas Is a Sad Reminder
Dec 26, 2002
On December 22nd 2002 I lost my baby I was 12 weeks. I have two beautiful children. My second child was born C-section. She will be four in March. This is my second Miscarriage in a row. The first was last year on December 20th, and the second just a few days ago. I started feeling kind of crampy around the 14th of December. So I took the whole rest of the week off at work, and laid flat in bed for five days. I probably went to the doctor 3 times, and they always sent me home with a clean bill of health. I just kept cramping over, and over. At times I felt like I had been kicked in the stomache. I had three ultra sounds, and they all showed a bouncing baby. Then I started wondering if maybe I was over reacting. On Sunday December 22nd, at 7:00 in the morning I was lying on the couch, and I felt, and heard a pop, and then a warm gushed down my legs. I ran upstairs as fast as I could, and by time I reached the bathroom I was bleeding severly. My husband rushed me to the hospital, which was 30 minutes away, and all I felt was a ton of pressure, and major bleeding. I was wheeled into the ER where they told me to undress, and put on the lovely gown. I didn't dare take my underwear off. Then the nurse said that I needed to be fully undressed. I told her that i was bleeding so bad, that I didn't dare take off my underwear. After removing my underwear I crawled up in the bed, and the nurse told me not to move. the baby had fallin out onto the bed next to me. I stared at it for a long time. trying to make sence of what had just happened, and looking at my poor child, that fought so hard to come to this world, and had just died. It was about 5 inches long with tiny little features, but it was perfect. I can't understand why this keeps happening to me. I keep asking the doctors if it was my c-section, and somethings not right with my uterus, but they always give me the. This happens for a reason, and we don't really know why. I can only look at my two beatiful children, and be thankful for there bright faces, but there are two babies missing in my life, and I don't think I can go through this again. Christmas is so hard, I should be happy, and thankful, but instead. I'm so sad, and angry. Well thanks for listening. This is such a hard subject to understand. The big question in all of our minds is WHY?
thanks
Tamera
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