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Mixed Emotions
Oct 30, 2002
My father died 2 years ago, my sister in law died just a few months ago and now my sister has lost a baby in utero. For some reason this baby has had a powerful effect on me. I have been in tears for 2 weeks now, ever since we discovered she would loose the child. I don’t know how to explain it, it seems as if I have lost something dear to me and it wasn’t even my child. I can’t even begin to express how much this baby meant to me, and how devastated I am at the loss. I really don’t feel as if I can talk to my sister about it, she appears to be doing well enough, it was an unplanned pregnancy and she turns 40 in January. She was not thrilled to become pregnant, but it is still an emotional time for her and I don’t want to add to it by giving her my issues to worry about.
I am still not sure why it is this loss is so huge for me, when I feel like I got through the other 2 pretty well. My father was extremely difficult, but he had lead a long life and was in a lot pf pain with very severe arthritis for the last 10 - 15 years. My sister in law suffered through a year of serious illness and mental anguish, and passed away and finally has some peace after being a tormented soul for the majority of her lifetime. But this baby was never here; so I really had no attachment.... so I cant understand why THIS one is so hard for me.
Any feedback or advice would be very much appreciated.
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