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What Did I Do?
Aug 27, 2002
Hi my name is Charmian. I am 29 yrs old. I have a beautiful 3yr old boy named Tyler. After a couple of months trying I found out that I was pregnant. Everything seemed to be fine. I had my first OB visit on August 12. Nothing out of the ordinary. I had no morning sickness like with my first one just really tired. On the night of Aug 25 I started spotting. I immediatly went to the hospital. They did a bunch of test and after that they said it could be a number of things. I could have etopic pregnancy, be in the early stages of miscarriage or just to early of a pregnancy to tell anything yet. I had a ultrasound but it couldn't really show anything. I would only be 4 weeks pregnant. After the visit at the hospital the next morning I woke up and seen blood not alot but enough to get me back to the er. Again they said the same thing still can't tell but they want me to see my Ob right away. I left there and went right over. He examined me looked at the test results and said he thinks it a early miscarriage. I took the news well. I have to get an hcg level today to see if my hormone levels are going down. Which means miscarriage. I anxious to know and hope that I am not that its just my period like some women get when there pregnant. But I know in my heart that its not and that I have lost this child. I feel sad and want to cry but something stops me. I keep telling myself this is meant to be. And yes like most women I do blame myself. Something I may have did like wear tights jeans or used bug spray to kills some ants. I know thats standard procedure on every womens mind that have miscarriages. I am sure it will get better. I just keep thinking of the due date and what I have to tell people I have already told and to see there faces when I do tell them. Just thought I would share my story so nobody has to feel alone. I will be trying again after my first normal period. Hopefully in a month. Thank you for listening.
Sincerely
Charmian H.
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