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I Trust God
Dec 21, 2002
I am 22yrs old. I have been married for 4yrs, and we have been together for 6yrs. We both wanted nothing more in this world than to get pregnant. When we started trying 3 yrs ago nobody elese was even thinking about babies, now everyone elese has had them and we are still sitting in the dark. In august of 2002 I started feeling sick one day, the day wore on thought nothing of it. By nighttime i was hurting sooo bad my husband thought my appendix were exploding so he took me to the e.r. the rest is a blur. I was told through a pelvic exam that they felt something in my uterus, and wanted to do a cat scan... when they did the bloodwork to make sure i wasn't pregnant before the radiation, to our joy they told us we were. I carried my child for 12 weeks. I was going in for a checkup when they told me my hormone levels from the day before had took a nose dive. I was crushed. I wanted this baby soooo bad, so did my husband. It is now December 4 months later and I am still hurting sooo bad. To add to it, this last Sunday my father had a massive heart attack and passed away at the age of 38. I am so lost, will god ever allow us to have children? And now that my father is gone my children will never have a grandpa. My husband is taking this all harder than I thought. I truly believed the only reason we were trying for a baby was because i wanted one, I now know different. If you could have just seen the pain on his face when they told us we lost this child, it was davastating. Now we are trying to get back in the grind. I truly believe god will allow us to have children when he is ready for us to become parents, until then I am enjoying every moment of every day that my husband and I are together. I love him very much and i know God loves us too!
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