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A Daily Struggle
Dec 07, 2002
I recently suffered from a "missed miscarriage." I was still carrying the fetus after it stopped growing at 6 weeks. I discovered this at my 3-month check up. Thank God my husband was with me because he provided the support I needed. I was in total shock and hoped it was a bad dream. I felt as though I was never given a fair chance because it was at 6 weeks that I discovered I was pregnant.
This was my first pregnancy after 2 1/2 years of marriage. I told only family and close friends of my pregnancy but was reluctant about telling others until I reached my first trimester. As my pregnancy progressed (seemingly normally), I let my guard down and began to tell more and more people. To top it all off, my husband and I had just been victims of an attempted robbery and a successful one 2 days later. The one thing we felt was going right was our expected baby.
I had to have a D&C the following day and couldn't believe this was happening to me. All I wanted to hear was that my baby was growing as it should be but instead I was scheduled for surgery the next day; one that I never thought I would need to have. The hardest part was having to get on the phone and tell all my family and friends that there would be no baby....at least not when we thought. I didn't even know what to say or how to phrase it because at the time I didn't understand what actually happened to me.
Through prayer, support from all that knew, and a lot of rest, I feel much better now. I still have sad days, however. I have since learned that many women I know that now have healthy children have been through it too. It was surprising how I never knew this until it happened to me. I wasn't happy to hear they had been there too but it helped me to understand how common miscarriages are. It also gave me hope that the next go round, I will be alright.
I have also moved to do some things God wanted me to do but I was being stubborn and selfish. Like the scripture says, sometimes we need to just let go, and let God.
I encourage those of you reading this that it is a day by day struggle but you will overcome. You must continue to pray and believe that God will bring you through this as a new person who will have a testimony to share to others.
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