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Comfort in Sharing
Dec 02, 2002
My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for 4 months. In July I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited, we only told a couple of family members just in case something were to happen. I was in my 7th week when I started to bleed. I called the doctor and she had me come in that same day. She performed an ultra sound and said everthing looked good. It was the most amazing thing to see that little heart beat. She told me to rest and take it easy for the next couple of days. Monday came and I started to bleed heavy red blood, no cramping at all! I went back to the doctor she did another ultra sound, this time she said that the sac looked small and that it was not normal for me to be bleeding but the heart beat was strong so all we could do was wait. I also had a large cyst come up on my ovary which she said was a good sign,it helps norish the placenta until it can take over on its own. Friday came which was my 8week appt. I had another ultra sound which showed no heart beat and she confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. I was so devastated, I could not even think of what to do next. She said I could wait the miscarriage out or have a DNC. I told her I would wait it out at home. After two hours I called her and told her I would have the DNC. I was not having any pain I just could not wait for it to happen own its own. This happened August 10th, I was no longer pregnant. I went back to work on Monday. It is now December and my heart still aches!! I thought that I was ok but I feel sad when I see other woman who are pregnant. Every day I think about being pregnant I can't seem to shake this feeling. Most people I talk to say I am trying too hard, to just forget about it and it will happen. These people also have children and have never had a miscarriage. Anyway I just thought I might feel better or find comfort in sharing my story. My mother wrote a poem for me and I think you might find comfort in reading it: FATHER IN HEAVEN. YES, IT IS JUST ME- COMING AGAIN TO YOU IN PRAYER; ABOUT MY DAUGHTERS CHILD YET TO BE. LORD, I DO NOT QUESTION YOUR MASTER PLAN- MY FAITH IS STRONG IN YOUR ARTFUL HANDS! IN JESUS'S NAME I PRAY FOR PATIENCE THAT SOON I WILL SEE- THE MIRACLE OF YOUR BLESSING ON MY DAUGHTERS CHILD YET TO BE! BY LSH. I hope that touches you the way it did me. Although I still feel sad I know that I am not alone!!! Tonya
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