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Shattered Dreams
Nov 14, 2002
HI.My name is Wendy.I am 33 years old, and I just had a miscarriage a few days ago.My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant since we got married a year and a half ago.We were so excited to find out that I was finally pregnant.We ran out and told everyone we know.For the next week, I was felt like I was walking on air, I was so happy.Then, unexpectantly last weekend, I started spotting, and I just had a very bad feeling.I tried to reassure myself that everything would be alright, but I knew it would not.I was lucky enough to not experience much pain, just some cramping and heavy bleeding.But every time I went to the bathroom,I looked to see if I could see anything that resembled my baby.Of course, it was too small at only six weeks. But I needed to know when it was over.When my doctor confirmed that I did indeed miscarry, I felt my heart shattter into a `million pieces. When my husband came home, we just held each other and cried.I am very lucky to have such a wonderful husband.He has always been my strength, and now is no exception.We spend alot of time taking about it, and our plans for the future now,and it helps alot.We still want children, but right now I am stuck between wanting to start trying again as soon as we can, and not wanting to try at all.This is a strange kind of mourning, for something we have never seen or touched. It is almost more about mourning the loss of our hopes and dreams for the future.We are doing okay now. I have stopped crying, although I feel an emptiness inside.I know we will be alright, and that someday soon we will get pregnant again, and we will have a healthy baby. This was my first miscarriage, and I have a 13 year old daughter, so I know it will happen for us.Thanks for listening--it really helps to talk about it.
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