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The Happiest Day of My Life
Nov 01, 2002
I guess my story starts about 7 years ago. I was 17 and had been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We got married and by the time I was 19 I was ready to start a family. We tried for a year to concieve, and nothing happened, so we were both tested. Turned out he wasn't able to have children. I was crushed! After that our relationship kind of went downhill.
I left him in Jan. of 2001. In May of 2001 I met the greatest guy in the world. We fell in love alomst the instant we met.
We weren't very careful when it came to safe sex. After a year of having unprotected sex, I assumed that there was something wrong with one of us, and we would not be able to have children either.
About a month after I came to that conclusion, guess what?
I was pregnant.
I'd have to say that was the happiest day of my life.
I made a drs appointment right away to confirm it, started taking prenatal vitamins, started eating better, quit smoking. I did everything right!!!!!!! So what went wrong?
I went for my ten week appointment. Totally excited because I was having my first ultrasound. I was finally going to get to see my baby. When I got there, they decided to do an abdominal us, I knew something was wrong right then. She couldn't see anything. So she did a vaginal. My baby was there, but only measured 6 weeks and had no heartbeat when it should have been 10 weeks.
That was the most devestating thing in the world.
She tried to be optimistic, and said maybe my dates were just off, but I knew better. I knew it was over. I'd never be able to hold my precious baby in my arms. I went to my doctor the next day to confirm and had a D&C the day after that.
I know God has a reason for everything that happens. And I know that my baby is with him now. But I can't understand why my angel was taken from me. I have so many questions, so many feelings of anger, guilt, and sadness. I will never forget my baby, but I hope this gets easier with time.
This baby was a total surprise, but I wanted it more than anything.
We are going to try to concieve again. Probably In Jan. or Feb. Hopefully next time things will go good, and I will get to be the mother that I despratly want to be.
Until then I guess I will just have to put my trust in God and know that he will do what is right for me.
Thank you all for listening
Amy
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