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I Feel So Alone
Sep 27, 2002
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. After a year of trying I finally got pregnant after going through some horrible infertility treatments. At 2 1/2 months our little baby died. I still have that picture from the ultrasound stuck in my head where our baby was still and lifeless, the heart no longer beating like we had seen just a week earlier. I remember wanting to die more than anything. It has now been 4 1/2 months since the loss and I am still suffering for both the loss of my angel, for the loss of my 1st chance at motherhood, for the loss of still not being pregnant. I have a strong faith but am finding myself going in and out of hopelessness. The "birthdate" of when my baby was expected is coming in a few months. Especially with this time approaching I am really struggling to not lose myself everyday in a rush of tears. I can't even describe the pain I feel every time I see a woman holding an infant or a lady who is pregnant. It literally kills me.
I ask that you pray for me to have the strength to get through this very difficult time and that the Lord blesses me with a healthy baby that makes it to term. I really don't know how much longer I can feel this way. I feel so alone. Please pray for me.
Love in Christ,
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