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Sharing a Prayer
Sep 21, 2002
I have two beautiful children for which I am so grateful.My husband and I were looking forward to our third child, due in April.This past week, my 10th, I began spotting and then, on Thursday afternoon it got heavier. I called my OBGYN and they told me to watch for any other symptoms since I had an appointment the next morning. I got into a warm bath and the cramps came on so fast. There was no time to react. The water began to turn pink and then a moment later I was holding my little angel in the palm of my hand,shaking. My husband saw me and I don't remember much of what transpired after that. Placing what was our baby into a bag to take to the hospital as we were told to, my husband holding my hand as we drove,the crowded ER, lying on a bed in the hallway because there were'nt any more rooms. I don't know how, but I returned home and curled up on the floor between my other two children and just laid there, unable to sleep, or cry, or feel.
I wait to cry now until late at night when the children can't hear and my husband is at work.Many well meaning friends and family have given meals and hugs and words of comfort, but nothing helps.I know my physical pain will go away but does the emotional pain ever stop? Does it get any easier? Will I ever stop wondering who this little person was,who he or she could have been? I keep wondering if he/she would have had my husband's big brown eyes or my blue.If he or she would have my singing voice and shy nature or be tone deaf and big-hearted like their Daddy.
I don't know anyone personally who has miscarried a child so I'm here telling anyone who will listen and understand, anyone who has been there too. I will say a prayer tonight for every woman who has been here on this site, pouring out her grief. Please will you do the same for me?
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