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It Doesn't Seem Real
Sep 18, 2002
Our hopes and dreams ended so quickly it still doesn't seem quite real. Monday, Sept. 16th was just like any other day, people were talking about how I had the "glow" about me and how wonderful I looked. My belly was starting to round, my breasts finally stopped being so tender. I took my daily lunchtime walk, got back to the office and went to the bathroom only to discover lots and lots of dark red blood everywhere. I was 13 weeks pregnant for my second child who was destined not to be. My husband and I drove like maniacs to the hospital & had two ultra sounds, one regular and one vaginal. Both showed no signs of a heartbeat. I knew when I looked at the screen things were not good. I can't even begin to describe the grief, the heart wrenching sorrow I felt the moment the doctor told me I was in the process of a miscarriage. We've had three days to try and understand how this could possibly happen. My husband had been so caring, loving and optomistic about our future for more children. I'm so thankful for him, he's my best friend... one I dearly needed at a time like this.
I have my moments, I cry, I ask why, I get angry, bitter, and then I look at the light at the end of the tunnel... we WILL have another child, one that will be healthy and full term. I'm positive of that fact as I sit here crying, mourning the little one who wasn't meant to be. Things will be alright, I've got a loving husband, a beautfil 8 year old daughter (she's my heart & soul) and a wonderful group of family and friends who have been so supportive that it's made it a little easier to adjust.
Life will go on for me, my husband and the next life we will create.
I'm at peace with the miscarriage, I will be okay.
Please share this with other Mothers who have loved and lost their babies.
Thank you,
Valerie M.
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