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Gabriella's Smile Is My Gift
Aug 16, 2002
May 18th, 1998. Finally pregnant after 8 months of trying. What a wonderful gift from God. My pregnancy was wonderful. On August 16 I found out I was having twins, a girl and a boy. On October 8th I had my 6th month check up. everything was good. That night i started having cramps. By the morning I was in pain, but it was not that bad. I called the doctor and he advised that I shoould come in to his office just to make sure I was okay. When he examined me he said, "oh my GOD. Get to the hospital." i was in full labor, dialated to 6. Three days later I had the twins. Jesus Jr. weighed 1 pound 11 onces and Gabriella Danae weighed in at 1 pound 10 ounces. They were given a 10 to 20 percent chance to survive and by the grace of God they did. On january 13 1999
i brought home Jesus. What joy. Two months later Gabriella came home. I felt my life was complete. I had a wonderful husband, and the cutest twins, a nice home, and a new puppy.
The holidays were wonderful. It was great to spend our first
Thanksgiving and Christmas at home with my family.
A week from New years we woke up to Gabriella's apnea monitor.
We ran to her room and found her lifeless body. We immediately called 911 and I started CPR. Blowing breath into my cold lifeless daughter is something i can't get out of my head. The paramedics came after what seemed like hours and took her to the hospital which they were unable to revive her.
January 8th my life ended. My heart was ripped from my body
with no anesthesia. My happiness ended. They say with time heals.
Well i beg to differ. I beleive we learn to cope without our lost one, but the wound in my heart has not healed. It has been two and a half years, and as i write this there is a lump in my throat. I am trying to survive the loss of my daughter. The best grief support I have had is helping others with their loss. I go to a wonderful support group, and have met many friends at the cemetary.
Little Jesus has been wonderful. It is for him I go on everyday.
He makes me smile. I don't know what I would do with out him.
I find joy now in the little things. I am very happy I experienced Gabriella's smile. If nothing else I got that. No one can take that smile from me.
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