 |
 |
|
|
|
She Is Very Alive In My Heart
May 16, 2002
I had a full term, normal pregnancy. I had slight hypertension so I was monitored a little closer than normal and we had fetal nonstress tests every week for the last month and a half. Everything normal. Our little girl, Madison, was looking to be in the 90th percentile for size and was very active. I had hopes to deliver early knowing she was big. It was also my first pregnancy so I was really excited.
Two days before my due date (monday), my doctor ordered me for an ultrasound to score Maddie's stats (amniotic fluid, placenta, blood flow, etc.). My doctor was looking for anything that might justify them inducing labor as she knew I was overly anxious. They don't induce labor for women who have large babies anymore. Anyways, our little Maddie scored an 8 out of 8!!!
The next day I went into labor around 7pm. Waited around (even slept a little) until 8am the next morning (Wed-my due date) and went to the hospital.
When we arrived, I was put on the monitor and right away the nurse noticed that Maddie's heartbeat was dropping at each contraction. For a while it would return to normal but after about 10 minutes, it stayed down too low. They broke my water and saw there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. Everything that follows is kind of a blur.
They rushed me in for an emergency c-sec and put me completely out. No time for an epidural. When I woke up, my husband was standing there with tears in his eyes. I had never seen him cry before.
When they delivered Madison, she was not breathing and had no heartbeat. It took them 8 minutes to revive her. I got to see her about 2 hours later and we had her baptized. Then she was taken by ambulance to the Children's hospital.
She had sustained major brain damage. She was having seizures hourly. She had swallowed and inhaled the highest amounts of meconium most of the doctors had ever seen (they said it had been in the amniotic fluid for atleast 12 hours). Numerous EEG's determined no "normal" brain activity.
My husband, myself, and both our families held her all day Friday until we removed her from life support at sunset.
She died peacefully in my arms but is still very alive in my heart. I shall go on with my life, but look forward to seeing her again.
Krista (mommy to Madison 03.13.02-03.15.02)
|
|
|
|
