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The Day My World Shattered
Apr 29, 2002
I gave birth almost 2 weeks ago. My daughter was born via c-section. Everything was normal until they opened me up and discovered she was filled with fluid(they called it hydrops) As soon as they cut the cord her heart stopped and she never took a breath. They couldn't save her. I knew something was wrong when they wisked her out of the operating room but no one would tell me anything except that they were working on her. Finally when I was in the recovery room the Dr came in but he gave me the news that shattered my whole world. My wish that no one ever has to go through that. I couldn't believe that my precious daughter was gone. I still don't believe it. She was 3 weeks early so I still feel that she will be here in a week and this nightmare will be over. I never thought that this would happen.
I was so excited that I was going to have a little girl and that my son would be a big brother. He was so so so excited and now he is left alone again. The hardest part of everything was telling him that his little sister was sick and had to go to heaven so we couldn't bring her home with us. It absolutly broke my heart seeing his sad little face. I thank God every day that I still have him because I think I would lose my mind with out him. He has been ou salvation through this. I can go from bawling my eyes out one minute to laughing hysterically the next.
I just got my pictures developed that I took in the hospital and before the funeral. I am so happy that I took so many. The most beautiful picture is one that I took of my son the first time he got to hold his baby sister. He has the biggest smile on his face, he is so proud of the fact that he was finally a big brother! I look at it and cry thinking about what will never be.
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