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Happy Birthday, Steph!
Sep 27, 2002
Steph, you would have been 16 yars old on September 29, the day after tomorrow. Happy birthday, Steph. I think about you every moment of every day. It's been three years, eight months since the accident. Daddy, Hansy, Val and I miss you very much, and talk about you all the time. I can't believe it's been that long. I can't believe I haven't seen my baby girl for all of that time. Every month is hard, because every month has a special memory and a special feeling attached. The month of September is unbearable. It's your birthday, and back to school. You loved school and partcularly shopping and organizing all sorts of things during the first few weeks. I miss covering your books, and seeing you walk to and from the bus stop, flipping your hair and often running when you were late for the bus. During many mornings and afternoons after the accdent, I cried every time I heard the bus ramble past the house. I would look for your shining face on the bus, but I didn't see you through the window. I miss dropping you to school when you left too late to catch the bus. My God, Stepho, I miss you so much. The month of October is Halloween. You loved Halloween. Last Hallowen I saw a little girl dressd up as a red M&M, just like you were dressed that last Halloween. I smiled at her and tears came to my eyes. November- Thanksgiving. You loved family dinners, and you always liked to get dressed up for these special occasions - always aking "Mommy, who is coming over?" December - Christmas, presents, Christmas tree and more family dinners. Christmas is a particularly sad time. I used to love it, but it's not the same anymore. January, a new year beginning without my baby girl. I's hard. February, Valentine's day. You always bought cards for so many frends. When you were 11 and 12 years old, you came home with a rose from that very special boy. I cry when I think of all the special moments we will never share. March. I start getting particularly sad and teary eyed in March, in preparation for April 7th, the very worst day of my life, the day my beautiful 12 year old baby girl was killed in a car accident. Easter is also around that time. Easter will never be the same without you. I have a picture of you from that last Easter Sunday we spent tgether, three days before the accident. No more Easter egg hunts. I miss you so much Stepho. May is the month of my birthday and Daddy's birthday. You loved birthdays, cakes and getting us presents. June is when school ends, the pool opens up, and two months of watching you going in the pool and having fun. Stepho, I miss your laugh, special moments we shared talking in the kitchen, watching your soccer games. I miss when you, Hansy and Val teased me. You're always with me Steph. I love talking about you. I want very much to believe in an after-life so that I can say, "See you soon baby girl. Happy birthday. I love you and I miss you very much." You took a big peice of my heart with you when you went to heaven. I'll never understand why you were taken from us. See you soon, Stepho. Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you.
Love,
Mommy
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