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It Feels Like A Bad Dream
Sep 10, 2002
life can change so quick. when you think things can't get any better, i had a pretty good job i felt i was on my way to the top i had two great boys one 7 at the time and a very energetic 16 month old his name was derick, his older brother named him that before he was even born. i thought i had met this great guy that said he loved us and wanted to get married, and since my youngest son never new his own father because he just didn't want to be known, that he would be that father to him. at this time i was getting assistance from the county for daycare until i got a letter from them saying that they could no longer help me. it was a slight set back but i was going to figure out something, and i did, i took a few weeks off work because i didn't want to leave my kids with just anyone, i had even managed to get the assistance back after doing an interview in the local newspaper, but the daycare had filled my babies spot. while waiting for the director at the daycare to make room for him, i looked for another, i found this what i thought was an angel sent from god, after a few weeks in this in home daycare the kids were not happy and niether was i. and after talking to my boyfriend and deciding that it would be ok the kids loved him and i felt it was best that he would take care of them. this was a few days before christmas. it was the best christmas ever i had worked hard to get the kids them stuff that they would love. it was such a great day i would have never guess that the next 24 hours would turn into the worst nightmare one could ever have. i ever remember christmas day at his mothers house derick was into everthing anyway he had got into his mother's powder he came in the liveringroom with powder allover him with the can in one hand and the puff in the other we all laughed and his mother said" grandma's not mad" and cleaned him up. after the whole day of visiting family and friends we went home the next day it was back to work i work the 3 to 11 shift but never got off until about 2:00 am so i could get the overtime. my oldest son damien, was at my mother's (thank god) i went to work eventhough i was tired and was running late but he told me no go to work ,i got derick. so i went to work i called home to check on derick he said he was fine he said he had bumped his head but he was ok, i believed him and then a few hours later he called me, he said he wasn't breathing i told him to call 911 and i was on my way. i got home so fast, when i got there the police was there paramedics but it was to late he was already gone but they still took him to the hospital they put him on life support for the next 8 hours i guess. my boyfriend went to jail. i stayed at the hospital the whole time i felt so helpless i wanted to kiss him and maked it all better. i prayed to god that he would just let him stay nomatter what would wrong with him i wouldstill love him i just wanted him here but the doctors with all there medicines and stuff couldn't make him better my boyfriend had beat him so bad they said even without the headinjuries he still wouldn't have made it. i'll never forget the last time i held him with all the tubes and wires hooked to him i just want him to wrap his little arms around me like he always did and pat me on the back as if to say it will be ok. but he didn't. i never could've emagined my life without derick sometimes i think this is all a bad dream and oneday i will wake up and he will be with me. but he was here for such a short time that it was almost like the time he was here was the dream. i remember when he was sleeping and i would just look at him how perfect he was i would say to myself he was to good to be true. well i could go on forever but i will be end by saying i know i will see my baby again one day and we will make up for all the stuff that man took from us. until then i will see him in my dreams and and talked to him in my heart and just wait until then. thanks for reading my story i just hope that no one ever has to write one like it again. SISSY
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