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A Different Plan
Oct 21, 2002
hi, my name is eva, i am 41 and in March 2002 i lost my son Scott, 21. He had a snoboarding accident in Mammoth California, where he had just recently moved to - to live and work. He loved the mountains and wanted to stay there awhile, he loved all those extreme sports. He was a fun, energetic, cool, loving, kind kid. He thought he was okay, went home to lay down, but what he didnt know was that he had ruptured his spleen and had internal bleeding. He thought he was okay. I got the news at 4:00 in the morning, Easter morning. Its been almost 7 months, I've had my bad days, my good days, these days they just all seem sad....i feel like I am going through a life crisis, as i lost my husband to cancer 2 years ago and now with the loss of Scott, I just feel really confused, i try to stay positive, i get up, go to work, have an exercise program in the evenings, but i truly feel like I am going through the motions of life, i have another son, Paul 20 and i try to be strong for him, he knows i cry alot, and he is so good to me, we are very close and we talk alot about this. He sees me cry, and he feels just as sad, but i think he tries to be strong for me. The pain is unbearable, my heart is broken and it feels like a part of me is gone. If he had to go, at least the last thing we ever said to each other was i love you, we spoke on the phone, just a couple of days prior to the accident, as i was planning to go spend a weekend with him, we had set the date and we were both looking forward to it. I miss him so much, my heart is just breaking over this, but yet i need to go on, go to work and continue on, but it sure is tough. There are times when i wish i could close my eyes and just go back to 3 or 4 years ago, when both my son and husband were here, but i guess God has a different plan for me, i guess now i am just trying to figure out what that is. my heart and prayers go out to all parents who have lost a child. peace and love, eva
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