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Living With Guilt
Sep 30, 2002
HI MY NAME IS SONYA. IN DECEMBER 6,2001 MY FATHER WAS KILLED IN A ONE MAN CAR WREAK MEANING JUST HIMSELF. I GOT A CALL ABOUT 11:00 A.M. SAYING MY DAD WAS IN A WREAK AND THEY SAID HE WAS HURT VERY BAD AND WAS DEAD. I THEN DROVE SOME HOW TO THE SPOT HIS SOLE IS. HE STARTED DRINKING BAD BEFORE THIS HAPPENED AND AT TIME I WOULD FOLLOW HIM IF HE WOULD NOT STOP DRIVING HIM , BUT AS I FOLLOWED HIM I COULD GO IN TO A LIKE TRANS BUT I SEEN WHAT WAS GOING ON THE VISION WAS THAT HE WOULD DIE IN A CAR WREAK. TWO DAYS BEFORE HE DIED WE HAD A VERY BAD FIGHT THE WORST ONE OF ALL MY 16 YRS I KNOWN HIM (STEP DAD). I HAD TOLD HIM TO GO AHEAD AND DIE THAT WE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITH OUT HIM NOT KNOWING WHAT GOD HAD IN STORE THE NEXT 48 HOURS. I SAID DAD IF YOU KEEP DOING ALL THIS CRAZY STUFF LIKE DRINKING AND DRIVING YOU ARE GOING TO DIE OR KILL SOME ONE WELL I NOW EAT MY WORD EVERY DAY. THAT MORNING I WAS GOING DOWN TOWN TO SIGN PAPERS FOR MY LAWYER AND HEAD TO MY DAUGHTERS SCHOOL TO EAT LUNCH WHEN THAT CALL CAME IN. TODAY I LIVE WITH SO MUCH HURT AND GREIF THAT I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH THE NIGHT WE FOUGHT WE MADE UP AND THE LAST THING I TOLD HIM WAS NO MATTER WHAT IM STILL YOUR LITTLE GIRL AND I LOVE YOU. THAT WAS THE LAST I SPOKE TO HIM. I ASK GOD EVERY DAY WHY AND DID HE REALLY NO I FELT THE LOVE FOR HIM THAT I DID. HOW DO I GET THE BLAME AWAY? I CANT GO ONE HOUR WITH OUT HIM IN MY HEAD AND SEEING HIM IN THE CAR DEAD. YOURS TRULEY DADDYS GIRL ALWAYS...
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