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Fear Following Miscarriage
Written by Clara Hinton | Sep 10, 2002
Following a miscarriage, or any type of early child loss, there is often a strong yearning to begin trying to conceive again. The empty hole that has been left by grief and loss creates a feeling of wanting to be filled.
Once pregnancy occurs following a miscarriage, an entirely new set of emotions appears. The overriding emotion is fear. When a miscarriage takes place, a woman is robbed of the confidence she once had of carrying a baby to term. She is left with a feeling of fear and failure. When she does conceive again following a miscarriage, she is excited to be pregnant, but the fear overrides the feeling of joy she should be experiencing. Grief from a loss can linger for a long time!
Remembering the facts about miscarriage can sometimes help to diminish this fear, which is nothing more than an extension of grief. Remind yourself often that miscarriages occur often, and many times without any obvious reasons. Along with this, remind yourself that even though you’ve had one miscarriage, you are not placed in a higher risk for another miscarriage. The odds are in your favor that you will have a healthy, successful pregnancy.
Many times women are plagued with the fear that they did something to bring on the miscarriage, and that they will do so again with this pregnancy following miscarriage. Most often, there is no known cause for the miscarriage that took place. It is not something you did.
There is also a fear of harming the baby during intercourse. Unless there is a medical reason, such as an incompetent cervix, there is absolutely no reason to fear harming the baby and bringing on another miscarriage because you have had sexual relations. This is a fear that is totally unmerited and directly linked to the grief you experienced when you had a miscarriage.
Because a woman’s confidence is shattered when a miscarriage occurs, she can easily be overcome with fear in a subsequent pregnancy. Brownish spotting takes place in as high as forty per cent of all pregnancies, but this can become an almost paralyzing fear when a miscarriage has previously taken place. A mother will work hard to convince herself she is losing the baby.
Any tiny ache, pain, or unusual sensation can send a woman to the emergency room. Many times, a woman will feel an ominous feeling, and tell others she “knows” that her baby has died. Grief from a previous miscarriage can have such a lingering effect!
How can a woman resolve previous grief issues enough to relax and enjoy her new pregnancy? Begin by telling yourself the facts over and over again until you believe them. Most pregnancies following miscarriage will be healthy!
Seek early medical attention. Being under early medical care can help eliminate fear. It’s what you allow your mind to conjure up that can hurt you! Think only positive thoughts. Write down a positive affirmation for each day of the week and read it aloud a minimum of ten times every day. Talk to someone about your fears. Finally, remember that fear and worry are unhealthy for the baby and you. By eliminating fear about your new pregnancy, you can continue your grief work and move forward into a place of healing and joy. Pregnancy was meant to be a time of happiness and great joy! By eliminating the fear, you have taken great steps forward in healing!
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