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Could This Be Depression?
Written by Clara Hinton | Sep 24, 2001
"Early child loss is probably the easiest to be dismissed by others, especially in the case of miscarriage." (Silent Grief, page 67) For the parents of the child, though, there are new emotions to deal with every day. The assumption that you will feel completely better in a few weeks is wrong, and often this misconception only adds to the intensity of a parent's grief.
At times, the disappointment a miscarriage brings will seem like it is more than you can bear. You were ready for a baby. You were daydreaming about how happy the holidays would be with a newborn baby. Every store you walked into seemed to be stocked with baby items such as cradles, soft blankets, cuddly pajamas, and precious knit booties. You were already envisioning yourself holding the baby-"your baby."
When miscarriage occurs, the loss generally happens with the sneakiness of a thief who snatches the precious life away without warning. There is no time to prepare yourself for the pain and emptiness, so the grief hits your heart with tremendous force leaving you weak and wounded.
There usually is not much open sharing time of grieving for a miscarriage because most people around you don't recognize the loss as being that terrible. In fact, a lot of your friends and family members may not yet have received the news that you had a baby on the way. So, it is only to be expected that others will not grieve this loss in the same way as you.
Some parents are able to move forward in a few months, experiencing only mild symptoms of depression. Others, however, seem to get stuck in this grief and just can't see any signs of hope. It is at this point we need to seriously ask ourselves if this could be more than grief. Could this be depression?
Grief acts like depression in many ways, and can be very similar in mimicking symptoms. If you find that after several months you are still feeling quite hopeless, helpless, and worthless, you might want to ask yourself some important questions. Are you constantly tired and unable to concentrate? Do you have great difficulty making decisions? Are you constantly restless and irritable? Have you experienced changes in appetite or weight? Have you lost interest in everyday activities? Do you ever think of death or suicide?
Depression is common in child loss, and help is readily available. If you are feeling much worse as the weeks pass, instead of feeling better, please visit your doctor. She can talk to you further to discuss the possibility of depression and a course of action to help you.
Grief from child loss can be the most strenuous, difficult journey you will ever have to take. If you suspect depression, please talk to your doctor and get the help that is available. By recognizing the symptoms of depression early, you will be able to receive help and move forward in your journey of grief towards hopeful living once again.
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