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Will I Ever Feel Like It's Great To Be Alive?
Written by Clara Hinton | Oct 01, 2001
When you are in the throes of deep, unrelenting grief from losing a young child, life becomes especially painful. Every day seems to be tainted by sadness, so much so, that it is often a struggle to get out of bed and move each day.
Grief can drain every ounce of energy that we have until all we feel like doing is sitting and blankly staring. Yet, we live in a world that moves forward in spite of our pain. People have jobs to work. The house still needs to be cleaned. The yard needs to be mowed. Laundry needs to be washed. Routine living carries on, even when our own world has been turned upside down by the loss of a child.
We might stay in this emotional and physical slump for months following the death of a young child. There are all of the dreaded firsts to face, which we already know will knock us flat off of our feet. There will be the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, and the first New Year without our child. There will be the first school play, the first birthday, the first vacation without the child we miss with every breath we take. We’re left thinking that we will never again enjoy life. Nothing brings joy, and we are convinced that our lives will remain void of all happiness.
While it is true that child loss greatly alters every aspect of our lives, it does not mean that we will never be happy again. There will be a day when we will dance to the music. There will be a time when we will be able to shout gleefully, “It’s great to be alive!” There will come a day in this grief journey when we will be able to “take a peek around the corner and realize that there is life.” (Silent Grief, page 182)
This feeling of “it’s great to be alive” is a slow process that might take months that push into years. There is no one main event that brings about healing, but it is a slow everyday movement forward. It is important to remember that this feeling of embracing life will most certainly return to us. You might feel like you will never again enjoy a happy, energetic day, but you will!
In the first weeks following the death of your child, the routine activities such as cooking and cleaning will be a major task. Little by little, though, you will notice that the things that once seemed impossible are now being done with ease. The overpowering thoughts of your child do not consume your every moment. You even find yourself breathing in the fresh morning air and enjoying it. You are on your way towards hopeful living!
You will begin to notice small steps of progress in your choice to resume enjoying life. Remind yourself often that grieving the loss of your precious child is the hardest work you will ever do. Place the brief but powerful words, “STEP BY STEP, ONE DAY AT A TIME”, on a note card where you can see it every day. Let those words serve as your daily reminder that there will be a day when you will shout, “It’s great to be alive!” and you will really mean it!
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