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Miscarriage: When Will I Feel Better?
Written by Clara Hinton | Aug 15, 2001
The feelings a mother experiences following a miscarriage can be everything from anger, depression, physical exhaustion, fear, to total hopelessness. Sometimes it helps just to know that you are not alone in this pain. Current resources state that statistically as many as one out of every two pregnancies will end in miscarriage.
With medical advances, we are now able to safely recognize a pregnancy very early on. A mother's bond with her unborn child can begin even before the actual pregnancy during the planning stages when dreams are talked about. By the time a baby is confirmed, there is a strong tie between mother and child. This helps to make miscarriage an especially difficult loss.
When a mother suffers child loss in the form of miscarriage, there are a number of issues to consider. There are body changes that can create mood swings. There are lost dreams of a future with an anticipated child. And, there is the feeling that "my body has failed", which often causes extreme guilt when the pregnancy does not come to term.
All of these things combined can create mental and physical havoc. A mother is left wondering, "Am I the only one who feels this way? When will I feel better?"
The good news is that after about six weeks the physical changes have leveled off and your body will begin feeling back to normal. The grief of losing a child due to miscarriage needs to be addressed, though. If the feelings of depression, guilt, and sadness are not recognized and dealt with, then it becomes especially difficult to feel better and move forward.
Always remember that there is no specific timetable for grief to end. The journey through child loss is very personal, and everyone will travel the road of grief just a little bit different. For some it takes a few months, and for others it takes much longer to feel better. Both are quite normal. Each miscarriage is a uniquely personal loss to the couple.
You will know you are beginning to feel better when you make it through a day or two without crying. When you find yourself whistling a happy tune for no particular reason you will suddenly realize that you are beginning to once again enjoy the small pleasures of life. Finally, when you understand that the loss was real and you can talk about it without overwhelming grief, you will know that you are well on the road to feeling better.
Give yourself the precious gift of time to heal following a miscarriage. Your dreams have been shattered. Your life has been set in backwards motion momentarily. Your body has been shifted in reverse gear. Handle life with care during these trying times.
Slowly but surely, at your own pace, you will begin to delight in all of life once again. Exactly when will you feel better following a miscarriage? The "when" part will be different for every person. It helps to concentrate on the fact that "you will" feel better. Allow that thought to help in your journey back to hopeful living taking only one day at a time!
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