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Getting Through Mother's Day
Written by Clara Hinton | May 07, 2006
One of the most difficult days to get through following the loss of a child is Mother’s Day. Reminders of this special occasion are everywhere. Stores, magazines, and flower shops all have advertisements and brilliant displays showing ways to honor mothers. For a mother that has gone through the pain of child loss, these reminders continue to add to the pain already felt by a mother’s heart that has been left aching for the child she loves so much.
There is no way to completely avoid Mother’s Day, but there are things that can be done in preparation for this difficult day that can help to lessen the pain. Often, the most important thing a mother can do is to communicate her feelings to those who are part of her support system. Don’t be afraid to be honest. Come up with a plan that best suits you, and share that plan with others so that they know how to best help you get through Mother’s Day. Remember that every mother grieves the loss of her child in a uniquely different way, so there is no right or wrong way to face Mother’s Day.
It is vitally important for a mother to take care of herself physically by eating nutritious meals and by keeping herself well hydrated in the days leading up to Mother’s Day. Also, it is important to get as much rest as possible. Grief work is very real and requires lots of attention. Grief is a drain physically and emotionally, so extra care is needed during the stress of facing Mother’s Day without your child.
Try to find a way to validate your child that is so very special to your heart. By validating the memory of your child, you also validate the fact that you are a mother. Many mothers have found that journaling their thoughts is healing for Mother’s Day. Others have found that it helps to plant a special flower in memory of their child. Some mothers want to be acknowledged in church on Mother’s Day even though their child is not here with them. Others choose to avoid all social gatherings on Mother’s Day, and instead choose to take a quiet, reflective walk. Do whatever is best for you.
Remind yourself often that you can make it through Mother’s Day. Do all that you can to get through the day gently and in a way that is healing to you. Remember that tears are cleansing and are not a sign of failure.
By preparing for Mother’s Day, you are doing a lot of your grief work before the actual day arrives. You will find that when Mother’s Day comes and you have a plan in mind, you will experience less grief and those around you will be able to support you through the day that has been so heavy on your heart. Most times, the anticipation is far worse than the actual day. With some thought and careful planning, you will make it through Mother’s Day, and you will be one step closer to finding healing in this difficult journey called grief.
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