Still Grieving

My daughter passed away at 2 and a half months. She was born with half a brain, no motor coordinations and no sense of understanding, I believe, even at her age. I am disappointed in the hospital for not helping her but I am more disappointed in myself for not giving her all my love when she was born. I think that I cannot hold other babies, where do I go from here. Two years later and still many months grieving.